Beyond Possible Repair
by RelapseAndEscape
Summary: After Rachel breaks his heart again, Sam tries to pick up the pieces of Finn's shattered heart and tries to show him what a relationship with two equals feel like. However, he is unhappy of the scars Rachel's left on Finn as he tries to heal him. SINN. Flangst.


Finn watches her, as her jet-black hair dances with the wind and big doe brown eyes glitter in the light. She doesn't look quite from this Earth yet too much to be an angel and not enough to quite be just another human being. His eyes don't leave her body as she strides and he swears as she passes that he can smell her apple-strawberry scented shampoo that Kurt's recommended for her, and it sends a feeling of warmth in his body.

Except it follows some sort of condensed coldness.

He is alone.

He is unfinished.

When Sam Evans catches a quick glance at Finn's face, he feels the entire world crumble down before him as well, to see those big brown eyes so lost, black hair askew, skin coloured in some sort of sick pallor indicating that he hasn't been taking care of his self well.

Finn's whole-world has crashed into a thousand pieces and Sam can't quite understand why. He moves towards Finn, and then offers him a sweet smile. "What's up, man?"

"It's Rachel," he answers almost immediately, the name on his mind over and over, Rachel.

"Oh," Sam says, almost as if he doesn't know already with the way that he's been watching her walk away from him as if every step away is tearing him on the inside.

Sam finally adds on. "You know you two – gonna be back together, right?"

"No, I think she means it this time," Finn's voice is full of discomfort. "She started…you know, yelling and stuff and she even swore…Rachel doesn't swear."

Finn stares at her, and Sam realises that he knows it too. They'd been there when Rachel's broken up with him, and the way that she's shrieked and swore, and the relentless repetition of 'it's over, we are over' has really sunken into everyone's brains by then. It's harsh to say the least.

"It's just…I don't want to go to New York, you know?" Finn defends himself.

"Yeah." Sam nods.

Finn looks up at him as if he's been expecting Sam to disagree with him and start a screaming fight.

Sam bites his lower lip and looks at his object of secretive desire. "Come on. Let's ditch. It might help you take your mind off Rachel if you're not staring at her boobs in Geometry."

"Yeah," Finn's voice is full of unshielded doubt. "Yeah, alright."

Finn follows him robotically and Sam just says, "Alright. Get in the front." He's about to decline when he sees Finn about to open the back doorway, and then switch at Sam's instruction. Sam notices Finn's proper obedience, as if she's trained him like a dog.

When Sam gets in, Finn has his seatbelt on (people do that?) and is looking at the road without saying a word. Sam starts off the car and just then asks. "Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere you want to," Finn responds.

"What about what you want?" Sam looks back up at Finn before they drive off, hearing the soft smooth growl of the engine.

Finn flusters, as if it's a test. "Er…er…" he looks bewildered and slightly afraid that it's a test that he can't get wrong, as he bites down his lower lip.

"Finn," Sam's voice is strong. "This isn't a Rachel Berry test, you know? Calm down."

Finn nods slightly and then looks down. "It's not that Rachel is a bad person." He defends her immediately.

"I know, okay?" Sam knows that Rachel isn't but in a presence of a relationship, she seems horrible to him. Sam stares at his object of affection with a soft smile on his face. "Come on. Should we go to the mall and see where we go from there?"

Finn shrugs. "Yeah, alright."

Sam bites his lower lip. "Or we can go somewhere else?" he asks, sounding slightly awkward.

"No, no, mall's fine," Finn tries to assure him.

"Sure?" he only gets a silent nod from Finn. "Yeah, okay," but Sam's half-sure that Finn isn't in the mood for so, but is just waiting for Sam to bounce around a place or idea.

The drive feels slow and Finn doesn't say a word, as he types away at his iPhone. "Aren't you gonna say anything?" Sam asks, biting his lower lip.

"Me? Uh…well, we can't talk. We might get into a car accident. Rache's been super-cautious ever since the whole Quinn thing," Finn shrugs it off.

Sam shoves the thought away because Rachel's dominating every singular point of his life and Finn doesn't even realise it. He doesn't understand that it's not right. Sam asks Finn to put his iPhone on his adapter in his car. Finn follows and watches Finn's black hair glisten in the light. He's almost sure that even if they do get into a car accident, it's completely worth it.

"Are we listening to Adele?" Sam says, amused.

"I can change it-"

"No, no," Sam assures him and Finn nods. "It's good."

Finn relaxes, and Sam finds himself singing along. Finn joins him after a while and they harmonise. Sam then changes it to Aerosmith and the bolt out the lyrics beautifully. Sam tries very hard to focus on the road, and is thankful when he sees the vision of the mall up ahead because if the drive's just a bit longer, he's sure they'd both end up with the car flipped over because Sam keeps glancing to see Finn as he sings, with those glittery eyes, and that beautiful smile that he's put on – Sam.

He finally finds a park after much swearing at the woman in front of him who says something like 'shouldn't you be at school?' causing Finn to laugh as he tries to sing.

"I don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to fall asleep 'cause I miss you, babe, and I don't…" Sam turns to see that Finn stops singing.

"…want to miss a thing," Sam finds himself wanting to cup Finn's cheek out of how soft the skin looks right then. He wonders if Rachel ever finds the urge to just cup his cheek and move in such beautiful smooth rhythm it's like a song they haven't really finished writing and they're writing on the lyrics and music on sweet, lovely impulse.

The first thing Sam does is find himself in Costa Coffee. "I'm so sorry. I need a caffeine fix," Sam says, jokingly.

"Oh hellooo," the woman behind the counter with wide green eyes and golden-curls stares at Sam like he's candy. Sam doesn't get that anyway. "What do you want, sweetie?"

Finn flushes and looks away. Sam grabs his hand and pulls him close as if to tell the woman that he's here with his boyfriend. Finn doesn't get the signal and seems to think that Sam's touchy because no way that Sam's gay, enclosed of what he's told Kurt about having exceptions – and Kurt's eyes jerking wide as he says that it has to be Finn. When Sam flushes, Kurt realises he's right and is shocked momentarily as he squeals. Kurt's a good companion, Sam knows, and he'd be damned if it isn't for the fact that Kurt knows everything about Finn and the thought of having warm milk and talking to Finn himself sounds like the best thing since melted chocolate over coffee.

"A Costa Light, soy," Finn mutters towards the woman.

Sam raises an eyebrow at Finn whom just shrugs. "I don't know. Rache makes the orders and she always buys me the same as her, you know…keeping up star figure and stuff like that? Like it's unfair to Rache if I gain like a tonne of weight-" Finn feels like a broken record, and talking about Rachel is making him think of her right now and how much he wants her.

Sam puts a finger on Finn's lips and Finn stares back at him as if he's unsure if Sam's allowed to do that. Sam turns to the curly-haired woman that looks like she wants Sam to touch her lips.

"Didn't know a guy like you was gay," she mutters under her breath and Sam's just happy Finn hasn't caught that, eyes on the menu.

"I'm pansexual," Sam says back to her. Mostly straight, he wants to add on but not towards the kind of freaky blonde girl as to raise her hopes up.

"Are we staying here?" Finn asks.

"Yeah, I'd like to," Sam says back, knowing that Finn previously has thought it's a grab-and-go type of thing and this is the only one to get his attention. Maybe he can help ease Finn out of the loop.

"Sorry, I take so long to decide," Finn bites down his lower lip.

"It's no problem," Sam says, love-dazed by Finn's face as he stares at the menu as if he's trying to decipher everything that's on the menu. "Take as long as you need. Except we have to leave by three pm, okay?" he jokes.

Finn turns to look at him and then smirks. "I might just take you up on that."

Sam feels like he's going to melt, and Finn turns back towards the menu. "A cappuccino and two pieces of toast with marmalade."

"What's marmalade?" Sam asks.

Finn turns to look at him. "No way! You've got to try that," and then he blushes at what he's said. Sam takes up the offer, telling the blonde cashier he'll have the same as his boyfriend under his breath. Finn and Sam sit in the most scolded area and Sam stares at Finn's face.

"So what's the difference between marmalade and jam? Because from what I've heard it's-"

Sam puts his arms on the table. Finn shakes his head, and puts his arms on the table as well, both of their faces only inches away from each other.

"See, jam is all those weird like…sweet kind of fruits, like strawberries, blackberries and stuff like that but marmalade is made out of citrus fruits and it's delicious." He adds on as an after-thought. "It's like bitter and sweet and chunky but it's got that kind of smooth feeling too. I love it."

Sam's too lost in his eyes to really process the words that Finn's saying until later. When Sam does try it, it's tentative and every time he's bringing the toast towards his lips, he brings it back. "I can't do it," Sam says, flushing and laughing.

"Come on. Take it like a man," Finn jovially jokes. "See?"

Finn picks off one of his pieces, and then takes a huge bite out of the toast, allowing some of the orange jelly to land on his upper lip as Finn licks the upper part of his lip. Finn lets out a moan as if to explain to Sam that it's good, and Sam feels his cock twitch in his pants. Finn ushers to Sam, who takes just a bite and then nods off to Finn. "It's good."

"Good?"

"Good," Sam challenges with a smirk.

After finishing off, they walk around with Finn staring at every store as if analysing its contents. Finn's eyes enlighten when he stares up at a sweater that is on display. Finn sees Sam walk into the store and Finn follows him. Sam finds the exact sweater and hands it to Finn.

"Er…I need something kind of bigger," Finn ushers to him.

Sam doesn't judge as he pulls out the biggest size and gives it to Finn. Sam waits outside the dressing room, and hears the sound of "I'm done" after a minute or so, and Sam walks inside, shutting the door behind him and his eyebrow arches seeing that the sweater's practically drowning Finn. "That is so not your size, dude. You need something smaller."

"No, it's okay." Finn says, as if he's been too much of a bother already.

"Did that used to fit you? That size? I mean, with the whole Rachel star-figure thing?" Sam asks.

"No, they didn't. But they didn't used to be this big. I mean…I used to be able to get into one without it looking like—"

"—it's gonna swallow you?"

"Yeah," Finn blushes deeply.

Sam disappears off and gets all the sizes he can and gives them to Finn, shutting the door behind him. Finn looks uncertain seeing Sam being there but he takes off the oversized sweater and he slides on a smaller sweater. "This is okay."

"You know you don't have to hide yourself," Sam says after a pause. "You should really wear something that fits, you know?"

Finn bites back a protest, as he nods, and takes on a sweater that fits him. "Yeah, that's nice." Sam says after a while.

Finn turns his head as Sam pulls himself close, and puts a hand on Finn's hip. Finn shrinks away immensely. "What's up, buddy?" Sam asks.

"I've got like huge body issues," Finn's cheeks colour again. "It's stupid, you know?"

"Yeah, me too," Sam says, rubbing Finn's hip. "But you look…you look good, you know? Any size. Promise."

Finn relaxes for a moment, but is still tense. Sam returns to stroke Finn's hip, pressing his head against Finn's shoulder and Finn takes a deep breath, as Sam pulls away. "Come on. I'm paying, okay? Consider it as a treat for introducing me to marmalade."

"It was good, right?" Finn's cheeks suddenly regain its healthy rosy complexion as a grin makes its way to his lips.

Sam laughs, dazzled by Finn and nods. "Yeah."

* * *

Kurt opens the door to see Finn curled up into Sam's arms, as Sam runs his hand down Finn's back. Kurt has had his mouth open as if to scream out something but then his eyes are on the image before him then he points towards Sam and then makes a 'call me' gesture, before he points back to Finn, and then to Sam, making a broken-hearted gesture, and then points to himself before he makes a gesture suggesting that he'll kill him. If you hurt him, I will kill you Sam deciphers.

Sam nods, and Kurt shuts the door slowly. Even the click is enough to make Finn wake up. "Oh, sorry, dude…I like totally fell asleep on that fourth route," Finn says, as he rubs his eyes. Sam takes his shoulders and pulls him back on the bed.

"Nah, it's cool. You should sleep."

"But it's boring watching me sleep."

"Nope," Sam smirks.

"Edward Cullen."

Sam laughs, and then stares into Finn's eyes. Sam's phone buzzes and he says he has to leave. Finn slowly nods his head and watches Sam leave, feeling some sort of cold emptiness that he doesn't quite understand as Rachel's far away from his mind right now.

* * *

A few weeks after, Sam finds himself in the choir room, as Finn stares down at his feet.

"I've got something I have to say," Sam finally says. Finn nods his head slowly as Sam pulls out a rose towards Finn, who looks at him in mere shock.

"That's red," Finn knows what that means.

Sam brings himself close to Finn, cups his cheek and God, it's as soft as he thought it'd be, and then Sam kisses Finn. If he's thought his cheeks had been soft, then he's in for a shock because Finn's skin is softer even.

"…and I think that Alice Cooper's cover was off the—"

Sam's half sure that they're staring at them as Finn kisses back. Sam wraps his arms around Finn's waist and brings him closer. Their kiss ends momentarily with Sam pulls back, and his chest heaving with elation. Kurt squeals and then jumps up. Sam gives Finn the rose, and Finn stares down at his feet, as if still uncertain of being handed the flower.

"Sorry we had to—"

"Come out like this?" Sam finishes off for Finn. "I'm proud of having you, you know that, spud?"

Finn laughs. He doesn't even look at Rachel because it looks like he doesn't care anymore.

"So," Kurt begins. "Mr Schue, you must let Sam sing and profess his love for my brother. One I can get on camera, and then tell my Dad 'in your face, I knew Sam didn't mind dating boys'—"

Sam flushes. "Actually," he begins. "I've got the perfect song in mind."

He watches Finn's eyes lit with recognition.

"I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. Aerosmith."

* * *

Finn's lying beside him, in a chocolate-brown sweater as Sam sits up. They're behind a tree somewhere and there doesn't seem to be anyone around them. Sam pulls out a knife from the picnic basket, and a piece of toast, battering it with marmalade. "Oh—"Sam brings the piece of toast towards Finn's lips, and watches Finn takes a bite. "This is for you, you know?"

Sam sees Finn blushing. "I used to make these, you know," Finn says after a while. "For Rache."

"Yeah," Sam cups Finn's cheek. "I know."

Finn stares back at Sam, with a confused look on his face. "Was it something I did?" he sounds so lost for that one moment, and Sam shakes his head, bringing him as close to him as possible, as he runs his hand down Finn's side, making Finn cringe.

"Finn, you're perfect, okay? You are beautiful." Sam notices Finn shy away from him. "There is nothing wrong with your body."

"You're like Adonis," Finn mutters under his breath.

Sam laughs and notices Finn relax, and all hesitation leaving. "I gained weight," Finn pouts after a while. "Like nine pounds."

"And don't care if you gain twenty. I'm not ashamed of you." Sam adds on after a while. "I don't even care if you gain a hundred."

Finn smiles back at Sam and then curls up closer to him, allowing Sam to run his fingers through Finn's hair. Sam leans down to kiss Finn's cheek, but then notice that Finn's staring up at the sky. "Are you thinking of something?"

Finn shakes his head. "N-no," Finn says after a while as he cups Sam's cheek. "Nothing."

"Something's annoying you," Sam says after a while.

"I don't deserve this, okay?" Finn says in a softer voice, barely audible, causing Sam to stare at him with hurt in his eyes. "You do so much for me…and I…I'm not-"

"You deserve this, and more, so much more," Sam finally concludes.

Finn stares back at Sam with tears in his eyes. "But I don't do this for you! It's not fair!"

"I wanted to do this for you, okay? It's not like with Rachel where she expects it and you're compelled to do it…okay?" Sam tries to cup Finn's cheek, and then feels Finn bite down his lower lip and shake his head.

Finn nods silently. "I-"

Sam kisses him, fingers cupping Finn's cheek. "Finn…"

Finn stares back at him and then nods his head. "Okay."

Sam allows Finn to lie beside him, and he sees that he's playing with his shirt. Sam positions himself closer to Finn so that Finn's able to do so, as Sam kisses Finn's cheek. Finn lies his head on Sam's shoulder. Maybe in a day later, or a week later, Sam isn't sure that he finds Finn in his bathroom with fresh salty tears running down his eyes. He immediately takes a tissue and then wipes his tears away.

Sam pushes his chin forward, and then wipes them away with his own fingers. "Come on."

They end up on Finn's bed, and Sam's letting Finn lay his head on his shoulder. Finn doesn't tell Sam what bothers him and he doesn't ask as Finn feels Sam rubbing circles in his back.

He's the best thing Finn has ever had.

"You want to talk to me about it?"

Finn shakes his head. "It doesn't matter anymore."

Sam smiles and then kisses him, but then asks. "Are you sure?"

Finn nods his head.

"You can tell me you know."

"No, it's stupid."

Finn's eyes were full of tears and then Sam brings him closer.

"Honey, tell me. I will never think any problem of yours is stupid, okay?" Sam ensures him.

Finn nods his head. "It's just…I…" Finn's voice is aching with so much pain that Sam doesn't know what to think. "I…I was diagnosed with diabetes—please don't leave me. Honest, it was type one…please don't think I'm fat. Please."

Sam stares at Finn, full of shock as he cups Finn's cheek and then kisses the top of his head. Sam's paralysed from emotion as he holds Finn as tightly as possible. Next day, Sam's mind is reeling with the echo of the words Finn's said, as he buys a bottle of ketone strips, and then cries for him. When he turns around, Finn's holding the same bottle in his hand as Sam cups Finn's cheek. "I am not ashamed of you, okay?"

Finn nods, but doesn't say a word.

"You're perfect to me…there is nothing wrong with you."

Finn nods.

Sam's about to tell him he'll buy him marmalade to make it all better when he shuts his eyes, and then nods towards him. "There is nothing wrong with you."

Finn doesn't look like he believes it, but he smiles and nods. Sam expects him to tell him that 'I know' but instead, Finn looks down at his feet, with tears threatening to stream down his face.

"I wish I believed that too, you know?"


End file.
